Be The Boss of Your Energy

You are the boss! It's your life, your time and your energy. You are in charge of making the most of each day for YOU.

You have 1,440 minutes each day and we all need to prioritize how those minutes are spent. It's so easy to give all your minutes away to work, laundry, kids, school, spouses and daily tasks. But at the end of the day we need to make sure that some of our minutes are left for us and that we are giving our other minutes to people and things that truly matter. You are the boss!

 Listen to Episode 2 | Be The Boss of Your Energy

Episode Transcript:

So today, let's dive into being the boss of your own energy. it is the most valuable asset we have- you can't buy more of it, you can't create more, you can't share it. It is time, the gift of time. There are 1440 minutes per day, no matter who you are, what your job is, where you live, that's all you get.

I think we need to decide how we are going to utilize those minutes. I love looking at my planner with all the little clocks on it and seeing all the times, it gives me a really good visualization of where my time is going. It says 8:00 AM, I'm supposed to be here, and it says 2:00 PM I need to be there. But let's also visualize it as a little pie chart, because not everybody thinks about their time in minutes, but let's think about a big pie sitting on your kitchen counter. Visualize your pie in your favorite flavor- mine is chocolate. I'm thinking about some lovely whipped cream on top, and some chocolate shavings but you might want a peach pie or a strawberry pie. It's sitting on your counter, and it's a big one. You have 1440 slices of that pie and let me tell you there are some people lined up in your kitchen that want a piece, and that will always be the case. We don't like to disappoint people, that is for sure but there are also some things that your time or your pie has to represent. I used to say yes to everything, at least I tried to. I didn't want to disappoint people, and I I felt like “oh gosh I can't miss out” if somebody has wine club or a lunch outing or supper club or an event I wanted to say yes, because you know that FOMO kicked in and you have a fear of missing out. What if they don't invite you the next time? I really tried hard to just hit it at both ends day up and down, all the things to make sure that  I didn't disappoint people. Then I had my sweet twinsies and that was a double doozy let me tell you, and then my little buddy Gunner, my 4th baby came right behind them and I had to start saying no. There was no way around it. A lot of my pie, a lot of my minutes were being used up by these sweet little kids, not to mention I have a 5 year old at the same time. So you know, you've visualized my kitchen and there were four little sweet friends who wanted multiple pieces of that pie, and I just had to start saying no to a lot of things, and being very selective on any of the pieces that weren't already spoken for.

So let's talk about the things that are already spoken for in your pie. The things you definitely have to do every day, you know, take a shower, stop and get gas, go to work, cook dinner, all those things are part of that pie, and all of a sudden your 1440 slices start dwindling down. You realize there's not as there's not as many of them as you thought. During this time period in my life, or really any period, there's all sorts of pieces of pie gone, but you have to make sure that you utilize the time that you have with things that bring you joy and things that bring you life and energy and positivity.

My kids are always like, “mom, you're the boss” and I'm like, yeah I mean at work technically yes I'm the boss, but everybody can be the boss of their own energy and the boss of their own schedule. I am in charge of creating a timeline for myself for the day, and utilizing those pieces of the pie in a way that fulfills me and that uplifts me and makes me feel happy. So let's look at how I'm spending my day, am I using the minutes on a job that I love and feel passionate about? Back in the day, I used to be a pharmaceutical Rep, and I mean I liked it but I didn't love it. It was not what I was passionate about, and so I was using the minutes of my day on something that wasn't super fulfilling. Fast forward, and there’s all the other jobs that I have now. Whether it's my fitness studios or my nail salons or my planner, those are all so fulfilling and I love love love what I do. So now I'm using those minutes, or those slices of pie for something that really brings me a lot in my life.

I love to talk about water your flowers and not your weeds. You have a piece of that pie that goes to your friends, friend minutes. With all the things that changed in my life when I had all the babies and still had businesses to run, I looked at my friends, who were the flowers and who were the weeds? There were some people that I have been friends with for a long time, but you only have so many pieces of your pie that you can give out before you wake up one day and go to the kitchen and there's no pie left for you. I had kind of gotten to that point, and life changes, people change and I was trying to fit a round peg into a square hole and it just didn’t work anymore. So, you know you have your job minutes, but  then you also have your friend minutes. I really tried to shift and find these flowers versus weeds and cultivate my time and my energy with the flowers instead of people that might not make me feel like the best version of myself.

Then we have this other category of the pieces of pie, and it can shift and morph and change, these are some of the categories that are more self-care and fitness. Maybe you want to learn how to cross stitch, or maybe philanthropy might fill your cup, or spending time with your family. Then we also have to sleep and and have vacation and some downtime and so that third category of minutes in your day can shift and change. Maybe for your self-care you want to have 30 minutes in a nice hot quiet bath each night and you're willing to take one of those pieces of the pie out for that time. There's so many pieces taken by the non-negotiables like paying bills and getting gas and that kind of stuff and then there's this one that you can kind of negotiate with. I see a lot of women in my studios that say, “Oh my gosh I can only come every once in a while because then you know I have to do XY and Z, I have errands I’ve got to do.” You should see it when summer comes around, there's so many people that are like, “well I'll just you know see you in the fall.” It really breaks my heart because they feel like all those pieces of the pie have to go to everybody else and sometimes you just need to sit on the kitchen counter with your own piece of pie and a glass of wine and say F it this is my time. I think that’s important, and we love to feel guilty about that, but again are the boss of your own energy. Looking at how the day goes, you're in charge of it and you're the one who can schedule out the bath or the glass of wine or dinner with your hubby or a concert evening. Making sure that we take those minutes to give back to ourselves.

I also think we can multitask on some of the minutes. You're driving to work, I do this all the time when I’m driving to Lake Murray, which is my further studio. I obviously have to drive there and back, and I'm going to call my grandmother and my mom and check some of those boxes. Obviously you don't want to say you’re just checking a box, but you want to make sure you’re talking to them. I have this drive and my mom will call it windshield time, she knows that I’m multitasking. Sometimes I'm sitting at karate and I'm watching Gunner while I'm making my meal prep plan for the week, deciding what groceries we need, that's a great use of multitasking. I’m looking up saying, “Oh yeah good job Gunner yay your punches are so strong,” and then on the other hand looking down, I’m thinking what do we have for dinner on Tuesday? Great use of time. Then of course there's those multitasking moments that are not so fabulous, like when you have people over for dinner or you're at somebody's house and they're sitting scrolling on their phone, and you're just like hello you know are you there? Not a great use of multitasking minutes.

I just really try to use them wisely, knowing that there’s such a finite amount of time. You're in charge of creating this cadence for yourself, does your schedule have enough friends time, does it have enough work time, family time? And again- the way you split that all up changes. I used to volunteer at this children's home in Columbia for almost 10 years, and I loved loved loved it, it was a huge chunk of my pie because I just felt so inclined to love on these kiddos that needed it. But once I had my own babies, I didn't have the bandwidth in my schedule to make that happen and it was a really hard decision. But you know, that pie and how you utilize it can shift on a regular basis. It's all about time management and reminding ourselves that sometimes, we can't do it all. Sometimes you have to do  laundry today because you're out of underwear, well then you better do laundry, but if it's a Friday night and you’re kind of caught up but you could do some laundry, maybe don’t do it right then. Managing your time in a way that makes the most of it, but also leaving some flexibility and some time to find joy. If you look at our planner, there's red line items, and those are things that have to be done today, no if ands or buts about it, they have to be done today, and if you don't you're going to feel super bad. Then I look at the right side of the to do’s, I'm like well it'd be really great if most of those were checked off but if they're not it's not the end of the world and I will rewrite them on the next day. 

We just have to remember our little pie out there on the kitchen counter, sometimes at the end of the day you're like well shoot, there's a lot of people that still want pie but I don't have any left. That's okay, but managing that time and the expectations of others and making sure that we take care of ourselves is so important. It's an easy thing to put ourselves at the bottom of the list and just let everyone else take the piece of the pie they want, but then you're sitting there hungry in the kitchen. That is where this being the boss of your own energy mindset comes in, setting the expectation for yourself that no one is going to create that schedule for you but you. 

I sit down on a Sunday and I look at my month at a glance and I'll start to fill in all days, I know I have a meeting at 8:00 and then I teach at 9:30 and then I might have a chunk of time in the middle to do something, and I'll map the whole week out like that. Then what I do is go back and make sure that there are things in there that give me life. I am super lucky that for my job I teach fitness every day and so that hour is such a huge thing for me mentally, obviously physically, but mentally it is everything to me, so that is already built into my schedule. I realize how easy it would be to just say I can't, I'll workout tomorrow, I'll work out on Thursday, there's like too much going on. My husband, actually last night, he was like I have tried to book you a massage for the last month and every time I come to you, you say you're too busy, maybe next week. He's like , “Lauren, this is what you talk about dude, you love a massage. It's so good for your muscles because you workout so much and you are putting it at the bottom of the list and that is one of the high things on your me plan,” and I was like well, yeah you're right. I mean it's really easy to let ourselves fall to the bottom because we want to take care of everybody else all the time, so making sure we schedule some time for ourselves, and giving ourselves that piece of pie with the glass of wine, that's why I just visualized myself sitting up on the counter. 

There could be two ways it goes- you could be sitting on the counter with an empty pie pan with nothing or you could be sitting there with like this big glass of wine and a big slice of chocolate pie, and I would rather have the chocolate pie and a glass of wine. It doesn't have to be every day, I realize it's maybe not plausible but really setting expectations for yourself that you have to give yourself a certain amount of slices each week to keep yourself healthy and happy. You can see when you start to run down, and we have to remember that we are responsible for creating that schedule and we can't blame it on anybody else if we are not putting ourselves in that schedule. This is what I want for you- leave here and take some time to do a little chart, or a little graph, make yourself a little pie chart of how much time are you spending on the non negotiables- laundry, gas, bills, work, etc. And then what else are you doing with that pie to make you feel alive and happy and joyful. That's your homework today- I want you to go and just write that chart out.

I so appreciate you spending time with me today and I want you to go home and leave here and take that little pie chart and create it for yourself, make sure that you are a high priority in it. Remember, you are beautiful, you are strong and you are enough. I will see you next time everybody!